Pokecull Round 1: Generation 3

Where I get an erection for vivisection!

Part 1

Part 2

Sceptile
I have piles. A bit of an over-share I admit, but I do it only to voice sympathy with this poor creature; For though I have suffered, I have never had the terror of a Pine Tree growing outta' my arse. Fetch the flamethrower and end this sickness.

Marshtomp

Just like it's Gen 1 counterpart this is stuck between a cute little critter and a fucking Kaiju. All it can do is drown in mediocrity. Which is ironic. Because it's a water type.

Lombre, Ludicolo
¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! Get in the fucking shredder you creepy stereotypes!

Nuzleaf, Shiftry
These things are supposed to resemble the mythical Japanese creatures known as Tengu, some of the creepiest beasts ever invented by the minds of drunk, horny old men. I say that knowing a considerable amount about Norse, Greek, and Egyptian folklore (I read a book once) which are all kinda creepy, but the Japaneese as always outdo themselves.

Slaking
Do you like your Snorlax with more hair and Downs Syndrome? Then you can fuck off.

Loudred

Ever seen a kid with ADD go off his meds and on the Haribo? I have and this thing gives me flashbacks, get it out of my sight!

Hariyama

Another detainee at my humanoid detention center. He's not as offensive as some of the others but if you let one go soon enough they want their own state, it'll be Israel/Palestine all over again.

Grumpig

Firstly, he's not grumpy. What's that about? Secondly he looks far too happy about that chewing gum he's swallowed and is now passing. Pervert!

Castform

Phoar! Look at the tits on that. Look upon them and weep. It's the colour of spunk to boot!

Kyogre, Groudon, Rayquaza

Yup, all three box pokemon can take a running fuck. Groudon has some serious posture problems and his fearsome tail is, upon further investigation, a back scratcher. Those spots on Kyogre's gargantum cranium look malignant which is a blessing for a fish with fingers. Rayquaza is a flying snake with no wings who has arms but no legs... who got stoned and can I have some?

Culled

This Gen: 14

Total: 58

I'm noticing as I go through the gens the designs are getting overall better, but less memorable.

Next up Round 1: Generation 4